Happy Birthday Magoo!

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Upon Waking

"Mickey was here! He left the blue and red thing!"

Harry noticed the blue and red water spray bottle we got at Disney World in September that I left on the picnic table for him to find. I just didn't think he would notice immediately, and from so far away! So, see? Who needs the jolly old elf? We have a monstrous talking rodent leaving presents in our yard.

Yes, Kirstie.

I called Jenny.

Now I am mortified. Perhaps that will aid in the wait loss. I am sure my friends will support me (yeah, aren't they the ones who buy pizza, drinks, desert...) but I am not naive enough to think that this is a private site. Now the freaks know too! Whatever. I'm fat.
Also going in for a colonic tomorrow. Before the medical experts comment, I have IBS. I have seen many doctors and most have no clue how to treat it. I've done my own research. Hopefully it will work. I'll let you know.

Back to the Jenny food, though...Harry has said more then once that he is fat. Gee, wonder were he picked that one up! I will not tell him I am dieting. I am going to tell him the doctor said I have to eat it. And Elliot wonders why people lie to their kids.

I wanna do it!

Every morning and evening, while I lounge nearby eating bonbons (what's a bon bon?) Harry gets the cabinet lock, opens the door, takes the 30 pound tub of triangle shaped dog food out, gets a bowl from the drawer, scoops a full scoop of food into the bowl and feeds Bailey. Then adds ice to her water bowl. Then lets her out and in again. Today he even got two bags out and scooped the yard (he picked up leaves, I already did the doodies).

If you can, don't fly USAIRWAYS

For $100 and some piece of mind, I upgraded my flight yesterday to first class. No freebies anymore (I don't have the frequent flyer status that I used to anyway). But, it's worth the piece of mind to know I will be able to pee pretty much when I want. (more on that later).

So, immediately after hitting the submit button, I realized I would not be given a choice of seats. Naturally, I'm in the front row. Those of you who have never been in the front row, let me fill you in: there is no seat in front of you to stow your stuff. You are left with only the overhead. With pleading looks I can usually get the flight attendants to let me hang onto a light bag with books and snacks, but the laptop is a no go. Have to wait a half an hour to start working. So much for the extra space.

I called the airline, of course but they didn't even understand what my issue was. Never mind. I try to play their game and tie up the line until they picked up, but I needed Sushi and only lasted 17:34 minutes.

So, today, I try to check in at the kiosk. I tried two and neither would accept my credit card or print. Even when I checked in with a person, it was difficult to get a bag checked. It just wouldn't allow it. And even though I am only going to Orlando overnight, I could not fit the recommended eye drops, moisturizer and other necessities into a tiny Ziploc. So I checked the bag.

Why did I need the recommended items? Fire pollution in Florida.

Another shitty day in paradise (Odds are I won't leave the hotel, but that line reminds me not only of Jimmy B., but of a climbing guide I had at NCOBS who liked to repeat it over and over again, especially as we hiked past rows and rows of wild azaleas.

So now I am on board. Didn't make eye contact with the other passengers and immediately fell asleep. The first class attendants are good enough. They keep asking me if I want another granola bar...but it's cinnamon. Lesser bobka.

Back to the bathroom. THE MOST DISGUSTING ONE I HAVE EVER SEEN!

There is urine everywhere. Puddles of it even.

So much for the upgrade. Can't imagine what it is like in steerage.

So glad I am not flying on a daily basis anymore... SO glad.

Of course, little man still thinks that is what I do. He told me today that he wants to get "pants like that from the store so I can get on an airplane and go to work."

Sudden Realization

• My dad and Harry are the only people I know who prefer to sleep with their blankets over their heads, rather then their feet.
• Don't give parental advice if you don't have kids.
• When I tell a bitter, aged, single, childless person "Oh, you're so lucky! I wish I could have made it out last night!" I don't mean in. Hanging out with a 3 year old or with other parents on a play date IS more fun and more rewarding. If I wanted to be at a bar drinking a margarita, I would be.
• Just because you are rigid, doesn't mean it's right. It's rude.
• I have no idea who is going to win dancing with the stars. I want it to be Ian, but I don't think it will be. I hope it's Apollo at this point.
• Bailey is not a bad dog.
  

Patience is a Virtue

Now that Harry's 3, he's really learning how to cooperate and follow directions (when of course it suits him). This weekend showed 2 particular episodes of how well he's doing in these practices:

Case #1: Generous George's Positive Pizza Place
As many of you know, one of our guilty pleasures subtly masquerading as a "family tradition" is Friday Pizza Night. This past Friday, Harry was minding his own business, eagerly awaiting his pizza whilst sucking down some lemonade, when who should walk in, but a large clown making balloon-things. Kim and I immediately and instinctively thought of Vince Vaughn's act in Wedding Crashers... "MAKE ME A BIKE, CLOWN"


So we give it a moment while we watch from the other side of the room, while the clown makes not only a bike, but something that clearly resembles a Harley-Davidson (Sorry Vince, you're out)!!

The clown continues to make his way around the room, and Harry waits patiently, calmly asking every so often if we think he's going to come to our table. He eventually does, and proceeds to make the coolest looking purple car with googly eyes, akin to all of the favorites in his recent obsession, Cars.

Mind you, virtually the entire time that the guy is spending at our table (very nice guy by the way... commit this one to memory, as you'll likely see him atone of Harry's parties in the near future), this other table of kids (either still or already in their PJ's by the way... ) came over to hover while it was Harry's turn. I thought he did very well waiting for the clown to make it to our table without losing it, or giving his best Stingy impersonation -- "mine!"



Case #2: The Little Gym
Harry's gym classes have been covering the transition from full parental involvement, to we sit in the lobby and watch the kids do their thing. Admittedly, for one reason or another, Harry hasn't been able to make it there consistently, so the progress from one stage of kids-only to the next has been more of a jump each week. However this week was very impressive.

The instructors use the "big yellow wall" as home-base for getting the kids to pay attention. This week's new gymnastic skill was jumping one the springboard. They were asked to sit against the wall, and listen up, while the teacher explained that everyone would get a turn, but you had to wait for your name to be called.

Harry immediately assumed that he would naturally demonstrate, and hopped right up to visit Ms. Jamie at the springboard. Very efficiently, as if expected, she walked him right back over to sit down, without missing a beat, reminding him to wait for his name to be called. She proceeded to go through the entire class... some did well with getting up alone in front of everyone, some didn't. All the while, Harry listened intently for his name, while Kim and I watched from the side of the room.

As the rest of the class took their turns, and Ms Kendra began to move on, the rest of the parents quickly reminded her that Harry was still waiting patiently. When she did call on him, he jumped up with the same enthusiasm and grin as the first try, and bounced right along.

Suffice to say, I think I've begun to take for granted how much he understands, follows, converses, and thinks about. So much so, that it's very difficult to make the distinction between times he can't and times he just won't. The frustration at these times is immense, and is often immediately followed by a gentle reminder from the voice of reason (read: Kim), that he is only 3.

On an unrelated note, for those of you (including myself) whose worry of if/how his broken leg from last year will affect him in the longer-term -- I think today's tricycle ride to the park and back, consisting mostly of an uphill ride (yes it actually was uphill BOTH WAYS), can put a lot to rest.

He did very well, with no complaints, other than that I was helping him too much.

PS:

Congrats also go out to Marley & Ben on the birth of their son David - 13 May 2007!

Baby Boom!

Here we go again...

Congratulations May & Gene!
Little Olivia arrived on Thursday.
Now Arwen's a big sister!
And I get to buy pretty little clothes with flowers on them!

Congrats, Meg!

Looks like Meghan will be running the MCM again this year (I will be cheering from the sidelines). Congrats! You got in! The hard part is over!

I'm starting to get lonely...

Checkout my reading list on Goodreads - where you can see what your friends are reading.

Croc On!

After 2 nights (count'em- TWO!) of late night party-ing for Kev and me (home at 10:45 after rocking it out on the dance floor at Arthur Murray Friday, home by ELEVEN:45 after literally closing down the place at Molly's 5th of May party on Saturday) I must have re-set my circuits, because I was up until midnight last night and woke up with energy this morning. How much energy? you ask. Well, I will tell you: Enough energy that we are now enforcing that Harry brush his teeth both in the AM AND the PM (1st dentist appt. is next month. I am going with the theory of heavy bribes. Let me know if you have any better suggestions). Not only that, we waited patiently while he went in the other room to put his shoes on. Typically his crocs. They are visible in teh car wash pics on Page 1.
Instead of the expected brown crocs, he comes back with his new orange and teal croc flip-flops that he refused to so much as try on this weekend. Well, not refuse so much as matter-of-factly state "not now, Mommy." So, hooray, the shoes fit...especially if he turns out to be a crunchy tree-hugging Deadhead (don't know how that could happen, she says sarcastically). He put the flip flops on over his argyle socks, and appeared very comfortable, thong toes and all.

It's raining.

Rain makes me sleepy.
Or maybe it's all of the pollen that got stirred up.
For some strange reason I am wondering if it is raining in Kentucky...and what Any Given Saturday is up to. I really liked Any Given Sunday.

Harry is downstairs waiting for a dinosaur to grow. Yesterday we opened 9000 presents. It's the never ending birthday! He still has a gold dollar from, I suspect, my elderly neighbor. There was no name, just "Happy Birthday, Harrison" on an envelope in elderly handwriting. Mr. McKaye mentioned he had "a little something." Harry will think it is a treasure. The pirate kind.
We opened yesterday a tool belt from Christian "just like Sage's!" and Grandmom's helicopter and the entire cast of Cars from Grandma Patty and "Lincoln Logs!!!!" Kevin and I were pretty psyched about the Lincoln Logs. Having just one can is rather limiting. Maybe not for a 3 year old, but for a 33 year old it is.

Later, it's off to Molly's casa pequena for a Cinco de Mayo fiesta. The weather didn't mention rain. What can you do? Obvioulsy not wear that nearly-see-through anyway white skirt...

Tried out a ballroom dance lesson last night. And...reading an e-card from Lisa now...is it the big one...??? (It's like Nasa with all of teh computers we have, which explains all of the email addresses)...and, It's a Boy! But I think I knew that!
Welcome Travis Jonathon! 7.13lbs and 21". Congrats Gregg & Lisa...& Christian! Looks like someone else is getting a Big Bro! Sweatshirt!

Hello, Kettle?

You're black!

Freak.

Our House

Does everyone have a cleaning lady or just the people in our neighborhood? It comes up in conversation quite often. What pops up about half as often is talk of gardeners. And not just the Desperate Housewives kind. The actual flower planting kind. I need one. My dad keeps saying he will come down and do the work, but apparently he is a big lazy slacker.

Magoo's Picks

133^rd running of the Kentucky Derby

Start with this. There are probably eight horses that could win this year’s race, and none would be a complete surprise. And there are several who appear to not even belong. But hey, it’s the Derby, so who cares, a once in a lifetime opportunity for lightning to strike. My numbers are as follows:

Street Sense (97/100) – Last year’s champ, he loves the Churchill track, and he’s working like he’s something special. Still, I’m not sure if he just doesn’t throw in a great race every time he runs. He’s been beaten before, and if he doesn’t get a clean, uneventful trip, he could be beaten again.

Curlin 94/100 – I’m always trying to beat the favorite, and this is no exception. His race in Arkansas was impressive, finishing well, but in front of a mediocre field. He’s widening in the deep stretch in each of his races, but again, what’s been behind him, and with his inside post, he’ll have to go hard to stay out of trouble. He could be the next great one, and if he is, I’m wrong.

Nobiz Like Showbiz (94/100) – I like this one a lot, even if he hasn’t show really great improvement this year. He’s a big, overgrown kid that won’t be intimidated, on the brink of mental maturity, and who’s as honest with his ability as they come. The trainer has been there before (Funny Cide), and could be again. Pedigree is the question mark.

Hard Spun (94/100) – The mystery horse of the entire bunch. He’s done just about everything asked, and even more, as witnessed by his outstanding work earlier in the week. Secretariat needed to be worked hard, and the results were outstanding. Same case here? He appears to have all the tools – speed, stamina, and a willingness to finish.

Great Hunter (92/100) – Stopped dead while making a winning move in the Blue Grass. Had he won it, he would be the talking horse of the race, but he’s another who is purely blue collar and has done nothing exciting. Maybe a win in the Blue Grass would have fulfilled that requirement. Looking for a big effort here, in spite of the post position.

Scat Daddy 90/100 – His big wins this year were workmanlike, nothing more, but they were wins. Little about him is exciting, but he can get the job done. In this field, the winner will have to do something eye-catching, and we haven’t seen it from him as yet.

Dominican (86/100) – Has only two races this year, both on poly track, and both very nice come-from-just-off-the-pace wins. If he can transition to a dirt track, he could be the sleeper we all need.

Dominican (86/100) – Has shown a lot of improvement from his two-year-old campaign, including an impressive score in the Blue Grass last out. Outside post should not bother his running style, though it’s been quite a while since a gelding won this race.

Tiago (84/100) – Déjà vu all over again, the half-brother to Giacamo who surprised everyone a few years back could be straight from the time machine. Although he was no threat to Great Hunter earlier in the year, he appears to be coming into his own. His style requires that he come from far back, and with as much genuine talent in front of him, it will be a different story than his win in the Santa Anita Derby.

Cowtown Cat (84/100) – Speed is always dangerous, although history says it’s a rare day in May when a horse wires the Kentucky Derby. He’s bred to the nines, and has run some good races, but at a tier or two below where the rest of the good ones in the Derby have been competing. There for a while, but not at the end.

Stormello (83/100) – Loved him earlier in the year, but an over zealous trainer may have compromised his chances. He has the speed to be a factor, how long, I don’t know. He’s been out of competition for a while, which is not good for a front-runner. You’ll hear his name during the race call.

Any Given Saturday (82/100) – Has kept some good company thus far, and always is there at the end, scrapping and fighting, but coming up a little short. He’s been beaten by too many of the top ones to make me believe he can beat them all Saturday.

Circular Quay 80/100 – He’s been away from the races for over two months. His run in the Louisiana Derby was special, but so was No Le Hace’s. It’s not the premier route to Churchill, and the fact he’s done little since makes me wonder. He’s been favored in every race he’s run, all graded stakes except his maiden win.

Zanjero (80/100) – Another sleeper who’s been knocking at the door but not been let in. He came up just a tad short in the Blue Grass, and may be just figuring it all out. Too little, too late.

The others just don’t figure.

It’s a big field, with 20 separate betting interests, so the odds will be generous. I like either Hard Spun, Nobiz Like Showbiz, or Great Hunter to win; those three with Street Sense in exactas; and Stormello or Dominican as the blue plate upset specials.

Kevin WIll Like This

I was talking to a psychiatrist at one of my sites yesterday and ironically, a sales rep from my own company, about the evils and vile-ness of cow's milk when the topic switched to 5 year Chinese rice farmers.
This started because crazy psychiatrist I work with apparently doesn't need an alarm clock because he poops like clockwork every morning at 5AM thanks to his hearty mix of 90 (at least 7) different types of cereal that he eats each night. He mentioned that his 5 year old daughter was making his mix for him one night because she had turned over a new leaf. She is now doing things for herself. Dr. S thinks this arose because she overheard him arguing with his wife that said wife does too much for said daughter. Sales Rep has a chore chart for his preschooler. She gets a new toy each week if she fills it up. Sales Rep's 2 year old thinks this is a good idea for him, too. He has decided he will get a new toy each week if he uses the potty.
Wow! What a great idea! Of course, Harry already gets new toys each week, so where is the incentive to walk to the potty after he says he needs to use it? I do sometimes bribe him with Dora Dollars (think Monopoly money)...maybe that could work...or, as the men suggested, maybe teh wives could just stop doing everything the kids tell them. I mentioned that last week Harry asked me to "Jump, Mommy!" and before I asked for specifics, I did draw the line.
Apparently before child labor laws came into play, 5 year olds did a great many things for themselves, from boiling water to milking goats. Which brings me back to milk. while we discussed its stench and - i can't talk about it anymore - I mentioned having a friend (KEVIN'S FRIEND!!!!) who orders milk in bars and brings it to parties. "He's Canadian." That was met with a round of applause and labeled the "funniest thing " they'd heard "all day!"
And this is what I do all day. Plus eat Sushi. But not with Ira. "Sushi with Ira" makes f or a great band name, but what about "Eating Sushi without Ira" as a book title?