If you can, don't fly USAIRWAYS

For $100 and some piece of mind, I upgraded my flight yesterday to first class. No freebies anymore (I don't have the frequent flyer status that I used to anyway). But, it's worth the piece of mind to know I will be able to pee pretty much when I want. (more on that later).

So, immediately after hitting the submit button, I realized I would not be given a choice of seats. Naturally, I'm in the front row. Those of you who have never been in the front row, let me fill you in: there is no seat in front of you to stow your stuff. You are left with only the overhead. With pleading looks I can usually get the flight attendants to let me hang onto a light bag with books and snacks, but the laptop is a no go. Have to wait a half an hour to start working. So much for the extra space.

I called the airline, of course but they didn't even understand what my issue was. Never mind. I try to play their game and tie up the line until they picked up, but I needed Sushi and only lasted 17:34 minutes.

So, today, I try to check in at the kiosk. I tried two and neither would accept my credit card or print. Even when I checked in with a person, it was difficult to get a bag checked. It just wouldn't allow it. And even though I am only going to Orlando overnight, I could not fit the recommended eye drops, moisturizer and other necessities into a tiny Ziploc. So I checked the bag.

Why did I need the recommended items? Fire pollution in Florida.

Another shitty day in paradise (Odds are I won't leave the hotel, but that line reminds me not only of Jimmy B., but of a climbing guide I had at NCOBS who liked to repeat it over and over again, especially as we hiked past rows and rows of wild azaleas.

So now I am on board. Didn't make eye contact with the other passengers and immediately fell asleep. The first class attendants are good enough. They keep asking me if I want another granola bar...but it's cinnamon. Lesser bobka.

Back to the bathroom. THE MOST DISGUSTING ONE I HAVE EVER SEEN!

There is urine everywhere. Puddles of it even.

So much for the upgrade. Can't imagine what it is like in steerage.

So glad I am not flying on a daily basis anymore... SO glad.

Of course, little man still thinks that is what I do. He told me today that he wants to get "pants like that from the store so I can get on an airplane and go to work."