Your 5-year-old
Speaking like a grownup and throwing like a pro can make
your child seem so capable. But he'll still trip up on navigating social rules
that remain a mystery to him. Frustration may bring on fits of defiance or
inexplicable lies (that explains a little. it doesn't happen often, but it's random when it does) – or may send him running back to a lovey he's mostly left
behind (many more significant attachments lately).
Your 5-year-old now: While it may seem like your 5-year-old never stops, stop he eventually must — and ideally for at least ten to 12 hours. That's the amount of shuteye the average 5-year-old needs. (Typically 7:30 - 6:30, plus a nap on school days). It's true that some people, including some children, seem to require less sleep than others. But it's generally wise to err on the side of ensuring plenty of zz's. If a 5-year-old doesn't sleep long enough, he may be cranky or have trouble staying focused during the daytime.Even though your child seems like a "big kid" compared to just a year ago, he needs a bedtime routine now as much as ever. Familiar rituals soothe and relax your child and prepare him for sleep.It will help to remove any electronics from his bedroom, as well. Kids who are plugged in have a harder time falling and staying asleep. (Not to mention a litany of other problems, including a higher risk of obesity.)
Big talkersAt 5, your child knows thousands of words and can say most of them
clearly. She can describe people and events in detail and uses more complex
sentences. In fact, 5-year-olds are often nonstop chatterboxes who like to tell
stories, ask questions, or simply share with you every thought that pops into
their heads....(Oh, yes...and like many other parents we are torn between being glad our child is not autistic and wanting to wear ear plugs!) They're practicing all the language skills they've been picking up over the past few years, and their questions and comments reveal that they're also developing new ways of thinking.Your 5-year-old is fairly reliable about using proper verb tenses now (run, ran). Help her practice using future and past tenses by asking her about what happened at yesterday's playdate or about that upcoming trip to the zoo. Talking with and reading to your child are still the best and most important ways to keep language skills blossoming.You'll also notice your child picking up conversational etiquette. For example, she may be more patient in conversations and more willing to take turns talking. She may also be more engaged, looking at the speaker and nodding her head. Keep modeling politeness and emphasizing the importance of "please," "thank you," and "excuse me."
Harry has a responsibility chart now. He is very excited about it and likes to get his points for the day. On eof his responsibilities is to show respect. I am amazed that he seems to fully grasp this concept, and it is so cute to hear him ask "Did I show respect today?"
Major
collections EVERYTHING IS PART OF HIS "COLLECTION!" Hi srock collection is pretty vast. I limit new rocks to 2 per outing, or else we'd be in trouble!
If your child hasn't started a collection yet, sometime in the
coming year you may start finding pinecones in shoeboxes or rocks littering the
bedroom floor. Five-year-olds love sorting and categorizing, which helps explain
the appeal of collecting. A secondary appeal (to which any adult who collects
antiques or knickknacks can relate) is the thrill of the hunt.One big plus to this hobby: You'll see that what kids value, they tend to take really good care of. So the child who's indifferent to a messy room may spend hours organizing his box of rocks and keeping them in perfect order. He may put white rocks in one place, purple ones in another, or his organizational scheme may be much more complex and obscure. Ask him to explain it to you.If he's interested in something enough to collect it, he may also want to learn more about it. Use the collection as a springboard to talking about broader topics, or look for library books that offer kid-appropriate answers: Where do the purple rocks come from? Why are they purple? What are the names of different kinds of rocks?Even at this age, kids can retain information that seems beyond them when they're very interested. And he's apt to want to show off his knowledge to friends and family, building language and social skills.
Your life now:Parents often focus on academics when thinking about school readiness and how their child will fare. Interestingly, educators say there's another factor that may be more important — social readiness. Signs of this include a child who can separate easily from his parents, who is comfortable talking to other adults, and who wants to interact with other children and can do so pretty well, even if it first requires hanging back to watch for a few minutes.
High energyFive-year-olds make great strides physically. Your child's balance
will improve, and she'll throw a ball more fluidly (though catching is still a
challenge). Her advancing large and small motor skills make this a great time to
expose her to activities that require more complex body coordination, like
swimming, tumbling, running a homemade obstacle course, riding a scooter, or ice
skating. You might notice an increased restlessness. Five-year-olds are in constant motion and can't seem to sit still. They have better stamina and seldom admit fatigue even when they're truly tired.Physical activity provides a great release for all this coursing energy. Research shows that physical activity helps reduce stress in children and improves their attention span. The American Heart Association recommends at least 30 minutes of enjoyable, varied, moderate-intensity activity for kids every day.Try to make time for physical activity, rain or shine. Kids aren't scared of a little weather. They love stomping in puddles and making snow angels.
Harry played his first soccer game in the rain Saturday, in shorts and a T-shirt. He was so into the game, I think he barely noticed the rain!
Your life now: Finding yourself hosting a playdate for energetic 5-year-olds? Your child is likely to want to invite new friends over but is still learning how to navigate the social waters. To make playdates go more smoothly:• Limit the number of children involved. Ideally, have just one friend over at a time. With three or four, there always seems to be an odd man out.• Limit the length of play. One to two hours is usually plenty of time. If the kids seem to be getting along well, you can always extend the time a bit. But it's better to end on a happy note that leaves them wanting more time together than to wait until they disintegrate into bickering or boredom.• Stick to your house rules. Maybe at Jake's house the kids are allowed to run in the halls, but if your kids aren't, make the friend adapt to your house rules, not the other way around.
Game boys (and girls!)Your child is gaining the coordination and mental ability
to play more complex computer games — and his interest may be growing, too.
Five-year-olds love to copy friends and bigger kids. But many computer games
(whether played online or on handheld units or the TV) are potentially
addictive Increasingly, researchers believe that playing these games activates dopamine, a brain chemical that makes children want to keep playing them again and again. In addition, frequent use of computer games ups a child's risk of obesity, as excessive game time is time not spent in more active play.It's not too early to start creating positive habits about video game use. Some suggestions:• Hold off buying a game system as long as possible.• Strictly monitor which games your child plays and for how long. Even active game systems like Wii should be a complement to active indoor and outdoor play, not a replacement for it.• Bracket game time with active play.• Don't allow snacking while playing.• Follow age guidelines in choosing games.
Harry uses the computer to play on PBSkids.org about once a week or less. He loves the site and can navigate it independantly. It's a great site and I am impressed with what it has to offer. He is easily drawn into it though and it is hard for him to turn it off. He also likes his "TV bike" which he uses intermittantly and sometimes we let him use the Wii. He's not bad on it, and his driving games at arcades have really improved.
Your life now: It can be startling when the child you now think is old enough to "know better" tries to hit you. Five-year-olds are struggling with self-control. When it happens, don't overreact — but do act firmly. Hold his hands and acknowledge his feelings while restating the no-hitting rule: "I know you feel very mad. But you may not hit me or anybody else. Hitting hurts."
Tone and meaningHave you noticed how your child's speech changes depending on the person she's chatting with? When she's talking to her baby brother, her voice
may become higher and more sing-song. "How's my wittle baby?" she says slowly
and softly. Harry's voice completely changes when he talks to baby sister! He's usually very gentle and tries to teach her things. His voice is very "deep" and authoritative when he yells at the dog!
As you enter the room, she switches to her more grown-up voice.
"Daddy, can I give him the rattle?"It's back in toddlerhood that children begin to discern what kind of speech is appropriate in a situation and start to adjust accordingly. But 5-year-olds are enthralled by this idea in their play and everyday life.You can use this to your advantage with discipline: If you want to give a message emphasis, try whispering it rather than shouting. It will have more impact precisely because it's so different from everyday speech. Sing peppy rhymes during chores like cleaning up to make the job seem more fun. When you read together, use different voices for each character in a story.This is also a great time to introduce the etiquette rule that children don't speak to adults the same way they speak to their friends or siblings.
Your life now: At the playground, keep a watchful eye on your child to make sure she's behaving in ways that are civil and safe. You'll want to be able to intervene if there is hitting, kicking, or dangerous play like rock throwing. But stop short of hovering. Give your child room to behave like, well, a kid. That includes testing limits (within reason) and trying to work out disagreements with playmates on her own.
Pushing buttonsMost 5-year-olds have outgrown the tantrum stage. But that doesn't mean they're done pushing your buttons. Defiance — sticking out a tongue or
refusing to clean up a mess ("No thank you.") — is a normal way for children to test how far they can go....can go.Handling defiance requires walking a fine line. While you don't want to let your child get away with disrespectful behavior, you don't want to give it too much attention either. Yelling and harsh punishments often lead to more bad behavior.What helps most: having defined limits in the first place. As much as kids may rail against the rules, they take comfort from their structure.Make sure your child understands the rules in advance, then point out transgressions matter-of-factly. And try to be understanding. If your child is having trouble following a rule, talk with him about it. Maybe you need to tweak the rule — or your expectations.Reduce the number of opportunities for defiance. Where you can, offer choices. "Do you want to put your shoes on here or in the car?" Give ample warnings before transitions to new activities. Ease control over things that truly don't matter. Will the earth stop spinning if he wears the same shirt to school three days in a row?Be sure you notice when your child is behaving well and praise him for it. Your goal, in the end, is not to make him behave out of fear but out of a desire to do the right thing.
Your life now: Try not to be abrupt about announcing bedtime. It's a rare child who will drop whatever he's doing, or rise from the TV mid-program, and go straight to his pajamas without a fuss. Five-year-olds do best with a reminder that bedtime is coming, followed by a relaxed transition to bed. Rather than ending the day with a bang, make it a quiet time in which you can all relax and reflect on how the day went.
more. Duh.
What, me lie?"I didn't do it," your child shrieks. It doesn't matter that you saw
her throw the ball that shattered your grandmother's lamp. "Mater did it. But fortunately, lying at this age doesn't necessarily mean your child is destined for
delinquency.Try not to erupt or punish harshly. If you can discover why she
lied, you can handle it more appropriately.
Your live wire: It may seem like only yesterday that your child was toddling along,
still stumbling over his own feet. Now he's graceful and full of energy. He's
more coordinated and in control of his body. He alternates feet as he climbs the
stairs. He walks and runs with ease.These physical attributes, along with
boundless curiosity, account for why many 5-year-olds seem forever on the
go. Chase games and running are perfectly suited to this age. Teach your child your old playground favorites, like capture the flag and the zillion versions of tag.One caveat: Kids this age also tend to be overconfident about their physical abilities and still lack good judgment about what's safe. (Jump off the top of the slide? Why not?) Keep watch during playtime and establish clear rules. Your child is old enough to understand and follow them.
Your life now: One aspect of your child's behavior that starts out endearing or funny — but gets old mighty fast — is silliness. Five-year-olds can find all kinds of things uproarious, causing them to get the hysterical giggles. Or they'll repeat a goofy phrase, twirl without stopping, play puppy dog — the possibilities, alas, are pretty endless.Selective ignoring is usually the best way to cope with the sillies. Decide whether it's a dangerous or rude behavior or merely an annoying one. It's far more effective to end an annoying behavior by ignoring it than by feeding it with your displeasure (like saying, "Knock it off already" or "That's enough," or threatening a punishment if it doesn't stop). Those reactions are all forms of attention.Being goofy just goes with this age. Episodes of it don't mean your child is destined to be a comedian (or a puppy dog).
Say what?Some children still have trouble producing certain sounds. At this age,
it's still considered normal to lisp or struggle with l, r, s, z, sh, and th
sounds. It's part of the learning process for speech — these sounds tend to
require the most complex muscle movements. Most kids outgrow lisping by age 7 or
8....Stuttering isn't uncommon either. It usually happens because your child's mouth can't keep up with her quick brain, causing her to repeat words and sounds. When she's excited or tired, she may even have trouble spitting out the right words. Most kids outgrow stuttering between 5 and 6.Reinforce language skills by talking with your child and reading to her often. Don't try to finish her sentences or rush her. You don't want to make her any more frustrated than she already is. Don't ridicule or mimic "cute" mispronunciations. Continue to model proper speech.
Your life nowIf you keep art supplies organized and accessible, your child will be more apt to use them. Open shelving makes supplies easier to reach. Keep crayons, pencils, paper, washable markers, glue sticks, and clay on low shelves where they'll be easy to get at. Invest in some simple plastic storage containers (old diaper-wipes boxes work, too) so you can sort like objects. Label each container with an index card taped to the lid that displays the name and a picture of its contents. Store things that require supervision — like scissors, glitter, and permanent glue — out of reach in a closed box.
Brave new world: Is your child's beloved bunny or blankie, the one she used to drag
all over town, spending more time at home? (No.Less!) As your child becomes more
independent, she may turn less to her favorite comfort object. She probably
won't abandon it altogether, though.Many kids hang on to their "lovies" for
years — and return to them during stressful times or at bedtime....Other 5-year-olds remain publicly attached to their blankies whenever possible, and that's okay, too. Most schools discourage lovies, though (ABRA doesn't) , so if your child hasn't started kindergarten yet, give her a chance to adjust. Try initiating a rule like "Bunny can't leave the house."One comfort object it's best not to hang onto is the thumb. Most dental experts prefer children be weaned from thumb-sucking by about age 5. Much beyond that can jeopardize the alignment of permanent teeth.Most thumb-suckers quit during the earliest school years, sometimes by day first and then later at night, too. But for a persistent minority, the habit is extremely hard to kick. If your child is one of them, try to create an atmosphere in which she'll want to stop on her own.The more you nag and make a battle of it, the more stressed she becomes — and the more she turns to her thumb. The most common triggers of thumb-sucking are stress, boredom, and fatigue.
Your life now: Though you may be eager to hear about your child's day, don't be surprised if sometimes she'd rather be alone. Think about her day from her perspective. If she goes to school, she has to follow the rules and be social. Add in being taken on errands, dealing with siblings, or being grilled about what she did all day, and a little downtime may be just what she needs.
Harry's a good kid. He's smart, he seems to like soccer a lot, loves to swim, loves TV a bit too much, but usually good things, and he loves people. He's even doing better with what he eats. yaaay!
