What's Up Doc

Harry went to the doctor today for a minor ear infection. He was in great spirits, and all dimples, despite a phone call from Miss Theresa that Harry recommended she call because "When your ear hurts you have to go to the doctor's."
Harry delighted those in the waiting area with his readings from an ABC book: "H! For hoppindocter! (helicopter)"
The nurse in the back commented to the techs that this was one of her favorite patients. He had just had his well kid 2 weeks ago and talked her ear off. Glad it was all good!

Sick kid drawing

Damn, Munchkins!

The 2 year old room at Abra is a giant petrie dish. I am glad they keep them contained while indoors. I might want to re-think Ainsley starting as a Munchkin.
Can you believe "headlice.org" is an actual site name? I already called no dibs if Harry brings this problem home. I have been dreading a close encounter since I learned of them at George B. Fine school. I still try to cover movie theatre seats with coat hoods.

Hangin tough

seriously?!?!

lip protection

... and going

start your engines!

do it yerself

Toddler Sense of Style

I have (almost) succumbed to the fact that it does not matter how much I spend on stylish, good-looking, well-designed footwear, Harry is going to prefer a pair from Target with superheroes on them. I at least ordered 2 pair. The Spiderman ones were a replacement for his size 9s, but the Lightning McQueen ones were advertised as "skateboard shoes".
(Kevin) don't get your hopes up that he'll save us many at the (online) mall, he still prefers "skateboard shirts" which are sometimes purchased from Old Navy, but more expensively from surf shops. Of course, he presently does not want to wear pants that do not have elasticized waistbands. All I can think of is George Castanza, but I try to tell myself it is to get his business on the potty taken care of more easily.

Early Life Crisis

I didn't have to do this when I was 3!

Well, actually, he did...at least for a few weeks. Harry is referring to getting dressed in the morning before watching "a show." Since he turned 4, Harry has started to receive an allowance: 4 quarters which he puts in his piggy bank (his choice). He earns this by getting dressed, feeding Bailey, letting Bailey in and out, and making his bed. He is also supposed to eat what we eat for dinner and not whine. He does fairly well most days. Today he was a wreck from the second he woke up. I am thinking he might deserve a day off on Sunday. We'll see what Harry wants to do.

Still Floating

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Earning his keep!

Harry made his bed this morning as soon as he woke up...before waking us up! He did a great job!

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Duck!

Growth Chart

So Harry's 4.

And apparently growing like a weed. As soon as you tell him he's getting bigger, he wants to prove it. so up he goes against the door jamb, heels pinned tightly against the floor, standing as close to attention as you'll ever see him, eagerly awaiting the next mark (Smart Trip card provided as a point of reference)...

As you may not be able to clearly see, he's grown about a 1/2 inch in the last month. You'll also note that the dark line near the top of the card is labeled 3/29 (last year)... the dark line at the top, was made yesterday -- a 2 1/2 inch difference.

As eager as he is to see his measurements creep up the wall, is as apprehensive he is about getting bigger. Totally depends on what kind (even time) of day you catch him on, but he's quite frank about the whole thing.

Either way, the boy's getting bigger... now it's little sister's turn.

Oh yeah, she's getting bigger by the minute herself!!

Super Helium

These crazy balloons have been flying since Saturday

4 wheels on my 2-wheeler

Chores

Earth Day Birthday!

Happy 4th Birthday Harry!

Circus Birthday!

Harry's birthday was a great success. Almost all of his daycare and preschool friends were able to attend, so we had wall to wall (mostly) 4 year olds. None of our friends this year, except for the ones we've made through Harry. They are all pretty fun. Angus arrived first with Harry's very own rugby ball, others straggled in, followed by balloon artist extraordinaire Ted White, who gave us our money's worth, probably even staying a little too long. I was ready to kick the kids to the backyard 15 minutes before he left! He was great though and I think everyone was happy. Kevin brought out the beer by then so parents were happy, too. Pizza and a cupcake cake followed. Cupcake cakes rock. No cutting. Nu utensils throughout the day! Yaaay!
Would love to provide more details, but Kevin's got a migraine (wonder why!) and I've got actual chores to do (okay, so I tivo'd Monk and Desperate Housewives and I want to watch before Ainsley wakes up!).
Harry is 4 Tuesday!
-Kim

News Flash!

I'm not perfect. You probably already knew that. You're probably okay with that. I probably knew it, too. I wasn't okay with it. For years I have been trying to be, and I've felt like a fraud. Instead, I should listen to Harry:

Accidents happen to everyone and it's okay.

I am not sure when this all happened. One thing that I am deeply embarrassed about is that during orientation at Maryland, I told someone I went to a different high school. I meant well, but I lied. Major confession: I overheard the advisor say that half the peopel at UMD were from Cherry Hill. So, when he asked where I was from, I said Cherry Hill. If I had been in, say, China, it would have been okay. But I wasn't. I was surrounded by people from Cherry Hill, asking why they hadn't seen me before. Instead of fessing up and naming my real school, I said I'd gone to a private school. Part of this is because my town has an inferiority complex. Anyway, this is a lie I have kept hidden until now. It seems minor, but it snowballed. I missed out on making a few more friends because I was busy hiding from them for 4 years.
I also seemed to have learned to (try to?) cover up my inadequacies. It kind of left me grasping at straws a lot of the time, or working my ass off so no one would find out I wasn't perfect. Today I was called out on it- several times. The first instance was at work, and it has been a situation I have been dreading for months. At the end of it, I was actually relieved. I was told I am allowed to ask for help. No one told me that before. The second instance was at yoga, something I used to excel at. No what? I've had two kids in 4 years, one 8 weeks ago, and I am also not 20 years old. No one cares if I used to have better balance. I actually spent the class working to my own capacity! Again, I was relieved! And I felt more included in the class. Maybe because I was learning how to do yoga with the group and not teaching the class.
I suddenly feel very free. Free to Just Be, rather than to Just Do It. I've got lots of accomplishments, but I don't know everything, and I can't learn knew things if I am pretending I already know them. I'm free. I'm the boss of me. I am not responsible for the world. I'm not perfect, and it's okay.

***Special thanks to Jon Bon Jovi for his assistance with this realization. When not listening to Backyardigans in the car, I listen to the same Bon Jovi song, Just Older.

Hey, man, its been a whileDo you remember me? When I hit the streets I was 17A
little wild, a little greenIve been up and down and in betweenAfter all these
yearsCan you believe Im still chasing that dreamBut I aint looking over my
shoulderChorus:I like the bed Im sleeping inIts just like me, its broken inIts
not old -- just olderLike a favorite pair of torn blue jeansThis skin Im in its
alright with meIts not old -- just olderIts good to see your faceYou aint no
worse for wearBreathing that california airWhen we took on the worldWhen we were
young and braveWe got secrets that well take to the graveAnd were standing here
shoulder to shoulderChorus:I like the bed Im sleeping inIts just like me, its
broken inIts not old -- just olderLike a favorite pair of torn blue jeansThis
skin Im in its alright with meIts not old -- just olderIm not old enough to sing
the bluesBut I wore the holes in the soles of these shoesYou can roll the dice
til they call your bluff But you cant win until youre not afraid of losing. Solo: Well,
I look in the mirrorI dont hate what I seeTheres a few more lines staring back
at meThe nights have grown a little colderHey man, I gotta runNow you take
careIf you see coach t. tell him I cut my hairIts been all these yearsCan you
believe Im still chasing dreamsBut I aint looking over my shoulderChorus:I like
the bed Im sleeping inIts just like me, its broken inIts not old -- just
olderLike a favorite pair of torn blue jeansThis skin Im in its alright with
meIt s not old -- just older

***No thanks at all to the shirtless gentleman riding his bike east on King Street from the Masonic Temple at 1:30PM. He was, in fact, perfect.

How Things Change

Kevin had this link up today about chicks discussing how their lives have changed in the past 10 years. Here's mine, from what I can recall:

Age 24: Work Trips to San Diego & Grad School Study Groups
Age 34: Webcasts & Playdates

Age 24: A closet full of Size 2 clothes and some 4s for "fat days"
Age 34: Really need to toss out those 2s and get the 4s in some basement bins so I can find a selection from the other 5 sizes that might fit.

Age 24: Convertible
Age 34: Mini-van

Age 24: Friends and Ally McBeal watched religiously, sometimes driving to Baltimore to watch over a beer with actual friends.
Age 34: Jon & Kate Plus 8 watched whenever via Tivo while feeding botttle to baby

Age 24: Making sure I had as many things to cram in over the weekend as possible
Age 34: Making sure I have as few things to cram in over the weekend as possible

Age 24: Have actual guy friends to go to Bar Crawls and Rock Climb with
Age 34: Sometimes email guy friends but more often call their wives to plan playdates

Age 24: Drinking beers & passing out at Dave Matthews concerts
Age 34: Loading Harry up with juice boxes so he doesn't pass out at Justin Roberts concerts

Age 24: Dixie Chicks, Grateful Dead on CDs in house, old cassette tapes in the car
Age 34: Backyardigans and Lazy Town soundtrack on iPod...with some Jimmy Buffet thrown in for good measure.

Age 24: Catching BareNakedLadies concerts in the front row.
Age 34: BareNakedLadies too buys raising kids to tour.

Age 24: Friends "holding each other's hair" in bathroom stalls
Age 34: Holding dogs and children over nearest porcelain basin to puke in.

Age 24: Drinking at loud sports bars to celebrate a great climb or a finished exam
Age 34: Drinking at loud brightly colored pizza restaurant to celebrate making it out of the house with two small children

Age 24: Vacation getaway - beach & drinkfest...usually free, with accommodations on sofa
Age 34: Vacation getaway - beach & drinkfest...very expensive to provide space for extra twin bed and pack & play, and then complaining bed is not as good as Sleep # at home

Age 24: Climbing shoes
Age 34: Crocks

Age 24: Bikinis
Age 34: Sad suit from Land's End that covers as much as possible

Age 24: Zone Diet to remain a size 2 and multiple private Pilates sessions each week
Age 34: Considering Zone Diet, since I was a size 2 last time I tried it, and 15 minutes on the treadmill after dropping kids off in the morning

Age 24: Parties with kegs
Age 34: Parties with moonbounces

Age 24: Trying to get in with the cool kids in social circle
Age 34: Trying to get in with the cool moms at preschool

Age 24: Read science texts
Age 34: Read board books

Age 24: Bridget Jones's Diary
Age 34: Mommy Blogs

Age 24: Guilty Pleasure - Watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Age 34: Guilty Pleasure - Scott Baio is in his 40s with babies and wives

Age 24: I use cell phone to call people
Age 34: I only text

Age 24: I use e-mail to send jokes to my roommates.
Age 34: I use e-mail more often than I communicate verbally.

Age 24: I make scrapbooks for people
Age 34: I publish my own hardcover photo albums on Shutterfly

Age 24: A Great Day = On the rocks before the crowds get there, Beers and cookout with friends, awake & alert until 3AM
Age 34: A Great Day = At park or zoo before crowds get there, no crying at dinner with family, awake & alert until 9PM

Simon Says

This was sent to me in February from the director of Harry's school. 1st day back at work so I am just getting to it.


Dear Parents: The following is an excerpt from NPR on the value of play for our kids.

On October 3, 1955, the Mickey Mouse Club debuted on television. As we all now know, the show quickly became a cultural icon, one of those phenomena that helped define an era.

What is less remembered but equally, if not more, important, is that another transformative cultural event happened that day: The Mattel toy company began advertising a gun called the "Thunder Burp."

I know — who's ever heard of the Thunder Burp?

Well, no one.

The reason the advertisement is significant is because it marked the first time that any toy company had attempted to peddle merchandise on television outside of the Christmas season. Until 1955, ad budgets at toy companies were minuscule, so the only time they could afford to hawk their wares on TV was during Christmas. But then came Mattel and the Thunder Burp, which, according to Howard Chudacoff, a cultural historian at Brown University, was a kind of historical watershed. Almost overnight, children's play became focused, as never before, on things — the toys themselves. interesting to me that when we talk about play today, the first thing that comes to mind are toys," says Chudacoff. "Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object."

Chudacoff's recently published history of child's play argues that for most of human history what children did when they played was roam in packs large or small, more or less unsupervised, and engage in freewheeling imaginative play. They were pirates and princesses, aristocrats and action heroes. Basically, says Chudacoff, they spent most of their time doing what looked like nothing much at all. "They improvised
play, whether it was in the outdoors… or whether it was on a street corner or somebody's back yard," Chudacoff says. "They improvised their own play; they
regulated their play; they made up their own rules."

But during the second half of the 20th century, Chudacoff argues, play changed radically. Instead of spending their time in autonomous shifting make-believe, children were supplied with ever more specific toys for play and predetermined scripts. Essentially, instead of playing pirate with a tree branch they played Star Wars with a toy light saber. Chudacoff calls this the commercialization and co-optation of child's play — a trend which begins to shrink the size of children's imaginative space.

But commercialization isn't the only reason imagination comes under siege. In the second half of the 20th century, Chudacoff says, parents became increasingly concerned about safety, and were driven to create play environments that were secure and could not be penetrated by threats of the outside world. Karate classes, gymnastics, summer camps — these create safe environments for children, Chudacoff says. And they also do something more: for middle-class parents increasingly worried about achievement, they offer to enrich a child's mind.

Change in Play, Change in Kids
Clearly the way that children spend their time has changed. Here's the issue: A growing number of psychologists believe that these changes in what children do has also changed kids' cognitive and emotional development. It turns out that all that time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

We know that children's capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn't stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at the National Institute for Early Education Research says, the results were very different. "Today's 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today's 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago," Bodrova explains. "So the results were very sad."

Sad because self-regulation is incredibly important. Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child's IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, "Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain."

The Importance of Self-Regulation
According to Berk, one reason make-believe is such a powerful tool for building self-discipline is because during make-believe, children engage in what's called private speech: They talk to themselves about what they are going to do and how they are going to do it. "In fact, if we compare preschoolers' activities and the amount of private speech that occurs across them, we find that this self-regulating language is highest during make-believe play," Berk says. "And this type of self-regulating language… has been shown in many studies to be predictive of executive functions."

And it's not just children who use private speech to control themselves. If we look at adult use of private speech, Berk says, "we're often using it to surmount obstacles, to master cognitive and social skills, and to manage our emotions."

Unfortunately, the more structured the play, the more children's private speech declines. Essentially, because children's play is so focused on lessons and leagues, and because kids' toys increasingly inhibit imaginative play, kids aren't getting a chance to practice policing themselves. When they have that opportunity, says Berk, the results are clear: Self-regulation improves.
"One index that researchers, including myself, have used… is the extent to which a child, for example, cleans up independently after a free-choice period in preschool," Berk says. "We find that children who are most effective at complex make-believe play take on that responsibility with… greater willingness, and even will assist others in doing so without teacher prompting."

Despite the evidence of the benefits of imaginative play, however, even in the context of preschool young children's play is in decline. According to Yale psychological researcher Dorothy Singer, teachers and school administrators just don't see the value. "Because of the testing, and the emphasis now that you have to really pass these tests, teachers are starting earlier and earlier to drill the kids in their basic fundamentals. Play is viewed as unnecessary, a waste of time," Singer says. "I have so many articles that have documented the shortening of free play for children, where the teachers in these schools are using the time for cognitive skills." It seems that in the rush to give children every advantage — to protect them, to stimulate them, to enrich them — our culture has unwittingly compromised one of the activities that helped children most. All that wasted time was not such a waste after all.

Better Ways to Play
Self-regulation is a critical skill for kids. Unfortunately, most kids today spend a lot of time doing three things: watching television, playing video games and taking lessons. None of these activities promote self-regulation.

We asked for alternatives from three researchers: Deborah Leong, professor of psychology at Metropolitan State College of Denver, Elena Bodrova, senior researcher with Mid-Continent Research for Education and Learning, and Laura Berk, professor of psychology at Illinois State University.

Here are their suggestions:

Simon Says: Simon Says is a game that requires children to inhibit themselves. You have to think and not do something, which helps to build self-regulation.

Complex Imaginative Play: This is play where your child plans scenarios and enacts those scenarios for a fair amount of time, a half-hour at a minimum, though longer is better. Sustained play that last for hours is best. Realistic props are good for very young children, but otherwise encourage kids to use symbolic props that they create and make through their imaginations. For example, a stick becomes a sword.

Activities That Require Planning: Games with directions, patterns for construction, recipes for cooking, for instance.

Joint Storybook Reading: "Reading storybooks with preschoolers promotes self-regulation, not just because it fosters language development, but because children's stories are filled with characters who model effective self-regulatory strategies," says researcher Laura Berk.

She cites the classic example of Watty Piper's The Little Engine That Could, in which a little blue engine pulling a train of toys and food over a mountain breaks down and must find a way to complete its journey. The engine chants, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can," and with persistence and effort, surmounts the challenge.

Encourage Children to Talk to Themselves: "Like adults, children spontaneously speak to themselves to guide and manage their own behavior," Berk says. "In fact, children often use self-guiding comments recently picked up from their interactions with adults, signaling that they are beginning to apply those strategies to
themselves. "Permitting and encouraging children to be verbally active — to
speak to themselves while engaged in challenging tasks — fosters concentration,
effort, problem-solving, and task success." — Alix Spiegel

Skating away... on the thin ice of the New Day

Literally and Figuratively...

Literally in the sense that as you can see from the photos below, Harry finally had his first ice skating lesson this past weekend. I'm not sure who's been anticipating it more (Harry, me, Kim, pop-pop, etc...), but there was a considerable amount of trepidation on my part, for a few reasons.

One, as many of you have perhaps had the pleasure of experiencing first-hand, Harry's not big on doing things that aren't easy on the first go. Practice makes perfect is not big in his vocabulary right now, but hopefully that will change. This actually manifested itself quite well this morning, when Harry was put in charge of getting his socks on his own feet. The HORROR!! After several minutes of literal grunting and groaning in what could only be construed as a Herculean effort (if you were in the next room and couldn't see how pathetic he was), and subsequent scolding by the parentals, he got the assistance he needed ever so badly.

So based on previous experiences like that, and how long it took for him to even attempt a forward roll on his own (no comments from the peanut gallery on how long it took for me to do a sideways roll), I wasn't sure how the whole learning process was going to go. Especially when it was sure to include many, many, MANY, falls on the cold wet ice.

After the build-up all week in SC, and using it as a carrot for staying somewhat calm and well-behaved on the ride home, we headed to the rink on Sunday afternoon. Helmet and Ovechkin jersey in tow. Good thing we got there early, as it was a MAD HOUSE. You see, I'm used to being there at the wee hours of the evening, when the only people there who aren't working, are other nuts like me, who think it's perfectly reasonable to be starting a hockey game at 11:30PM on a Tuesday night. Anyway, it was also Kim's first visit to the rink, and I think she was a bit impressed (having only ever otherwise been to the ReCenter at Mt Vernon).

We headed over to the rental desk, and Harry matched his foot up on the sizing mat, and we got him some skates, and headed over to the other side to find his instructor, and to get suited up. This is where it got interesting. On went the helmet, and on went the skates... no arguments, no fussing, no nothing. I put mine on, and before I could help him, up he popped, and began running around on his skates!

Now back in the day, when Harry first met Mr McPhee, his immediate recommendation was to get him a pair of skates, and let him walk around the house in them to build up his ankle strength, so he doesn't fall over. As much as I wanted to heed to unsolicited advice of a Hobey Baker winner, I never did, and felt sure that now I was going to see the fruits of my non-labor. All I can say is, thank god for the Little Gym! Little man was literally chomping at the bit to get out there, and once we did was pretty much the only one paying attention to what the instructor was saying, following directions, and oh yes... having fun FALLING! It took a few tries to get up the "right" way, but after a quick demonstration, was all over it. We were doing great, he was falling like a champ, giggling the whole way down and most of the way back up, and even embellishing enough that Alex Semin would've been proud.

Sure enough, it was on his last dive of the day, that the subtle head-flick whilst laying on the ice that got him in trouble, this time making just enough contact between his upper lip, and the point of my own skate, to fatten it up quite quickly and to get us off the ice in an audible sob. Little did he know, that the lesson was just about over, and everyone else was coming off as well. According to him, it wasn't so much that his face hurt, or that his lip was bleeding, rather that he didn't get to finish, and now he couldn't get a hockey stick (the deal was that he could get a real stick if he still wanted one at the end of his lessons)! So suffice to say that 1-he did GREAT, and 2-Time to quickly order a helmet with a cage. Done and done. Ready for next week.

Figuratively, it's a new day. Kim's back to work today after maternity leave for Miss A. She''s been a bit anxious about it all, which gets contagious after a while. So today, was day number one of the new morning routine that will hopefully get us through the next few years (only we never actually went over it out loud, so a bit harrowing for me... we'll try again tomorrow). Fortunately, Ainsley began daycare prior to our vacation, so that's not another new variable for today, and Harry's excited to be on the train picking her up at day's end.

Off we all go into the new family unit that we've become, and the adventures that go with it. hopefully it will be more of a glide, than skating uphill... or into a headwind... or some other more meaningful analogy of difficulty as it relates to skating...

or not.

Measuring up

Harry had his 4Yr well kid exam today. He talked the ears off of everyone in the office. When he wasn't asking questions about everything from ear wax to cabinet installation, he was explaining the procedures of the visit - to the doctor! The never bothered to ask if he was speaking in sentences.
As for the stats, his height is 39 1/4 inches, which is 50% as usual. He is 39.3 lbs, which is 90% as usual. The doctor agrees he does not look like he is 90% for weight. Must all be the head!
Later today, after a few rounds of golf, it was time to cut toenails. Harry is full-fledged phobic at this point. It's awful. He screams and cries and now has a demon-like cough going on. This is before I even pick up the clippers. He can discuss that he needs them cut, we cut his nails with no problem...it's just the feet. He's scared to death! Any advice is welcome. Right now, my plan is to massage his toes daily and to call the school psychiatrist.
-Kim (not Kevin)

Ready for the Masters Tour

Post skate... pooped

1st skate lesson

Harry had his first Daddy & Me skate today. He rocked! And, he was THE ONLY kid listening to the teacher. I have already sent a thank you to the Little Gym, who I credit for this 100%. I mentioned this to his Abra teachers and their only surprise was that I was surprised. I think Miss Diana referred to him as a perfect student and that "he's VERY smart." Now, if he can only use his powers for good....

-Kim

Grrr! ready to skate

In desperate need. "i'm almost handsome!"

Still in the car but making the most of it!

Left Folly before 8Am but stopped in Raleigh to visit PHS friends

Headed home

may I help you?

getting lost... with the Dog

conked... finally

browsing the aisles of Piggly WIggly