Parent Teacher Conference

I attended my first parent teacher conference today with Miss Natalie. I can't say that I was nervous. After all, I chat with Natalie nearly every day. I was, however, curious. I'm a person that likes feedback. Some may argue, I NEED feedback.

Anyway...the conference lasted all of 15 minutes, and that was stretching it out. Basically, Harry is very happy and she has no concerns. Did I have any concerns? Well, nothing major.

Natalie's first question was have I noticed his art work. WHY???? Well, yeah, I've noticed it. Where are we going with this??? Well, apparently, it's very good. I said I compared it to similar work, but the stuff that looked like his was in the Genie room, and just a couple of the Wizards. She reminded me that the Genies are older (I know this) and the other two that draw like Harry are Miles and Angus. She said the peer pressure helps, but he's been drawing the same since the summer. Apparently their drawings are a reflection of strong fine motor skills.

We can increase this by letting Harry cut paper, tear paper, and keep coloring, especially with crayons since it is harder to color with crayons than markers. And painting at an easel, which she says Harry likes to do. He is always excited about new things like mixing colors. Oh, and I pointed out that sometimes he will draw something and then scribble over it. Apparently, they all do this.

Does he have friends? Yes. Miles is still his buddy, and Angus. Harry and Miles really became friends after Mr. Sam left. Harry was very close to Mr. Sam. They did worry a little after he left. He was sad for a couple of weeks, but now he is always happy. He is very respectful. He knows the rules and he follows them.

Does he play well with the boys? Some of the boys of rougher than others, but Harry is still holding his own with the boy behavior.

Is he obsessive at school? Natalie says a little, but asked whether it wasn't good to be a perfectionist. Well, sure if he wants to grow up to be a CRA (job title, not a disorder) like me! I pointed out that he's still a messy little boy, but he does try to be very orderly. She stated that all of his pictures have to have his name and his symbol (a hat) on them.

Well, we had hoped he would eat school lunch by now. Does he try any of the lunch foods yet? No, but he eats the snacks. (Of course he eats the snacks!) She would rather he eat something and be happy. His lunch (PB&J on whole wheat, apples and raisins) is healthy, and he asks for it every day.

She is storing some of his artwork to compare it in May or April.

3 other Wizarding moms are expecting (Kate's mom's having a boy, Taryn's and Ava's moms, girls).

Don't worry about writing letters and numbers now. Work on the motor skills first.

Harry has been expressing interest in letters and numbers. We go with what he wants. Not like we have a choice.

Trick or Treat

Little Man must have had one hell of a Happy Halloween because he can not get any sort of grasp on Yule/Christmas/WHatever. He just wants to dress up as SPiderman and knock on people's doors.
Example:
Us: Harry, My Meghan's coming to visit you at Christmas.
Harry: No, My Meghan. At Halloween?
Mental. Block.

Best excuse yet...

When asked to feed Bailey (sitting on the couch in his cape & eyemask:

Superman doesn't feed dogs

Not in Philly...

But listening to Pierre streaming online.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

from nightswimming to...

Night Terrors (Pavor nocturnus)


From KidsHalth.org:

During a night terror, a child might suddenly sit upright in bed and shout out or scream in distress. The child's breathing and heartbeat might be faster, he or she might sweat, thrash around, and act upset and scared. After a few minutes, or sometimes longer, a child simply calms down and returns to sleep.

Unlike nightmares, which kids often remember, kids won't have any memory of a night terror the next day because they were in deep sleep when it happened — and there are no mental images to recall.

This has been quite a fun one. Although Harry hasn't been bolting upright as many articles describe, he meets just about every other textbook criteria. His age, gender, and overall disposition seem to be congruent with all of the checklists.

As I'm writing this, Harry just rolled into his typical 10:30 moan & groan session that normally lasts about 5 minutes. He rolls around a little, makes some noise, but then generally goes right back to sleep... sometime a little more quickly with a gentle backrubbing.

I've always prided myself on being the one who can get him to sleep, and moreover to console him if he does have a bad dream. But this is something totally new, and the recommendations to deal with the Night Terrors are completely the opposite of what we've been trying to do to help.

As many say, never to try to wake a sleepwalker because of the massive disorientation that can occur afterwards, so they say to not try to rouse a child experiencing Night Terrors. Case in point, as we have been dealing with this (before reading up of course), was to initially try to console him and gently (then not-so-gently) try to wake him up.

After literally walking him around his bedroom at 3 in the morning, eyes tightly shut and crying incessantly, he'd finally open them up, eventually slow down, and then become incredibly confused... "I didn't get to take my tub" or "I didn't get to watch a show today"

We've been doing our best since Kim came across all of these articles to try to eliminate the variables: earlier to bed, back to routine, make sure he's got something in his belly, calming bath before bed, you name it. He luckily hasn't had one since Saturday night (a particularly bad one right as I was trying to leave for Hockey -- which didn't help matters) that ended up with him and Kim sharing the couch until I got home, but having to watch him cry himself past the uber-bad part of the bad dream is going to be TOUGH.

I didn't do well way back with the Nebulizer, I was absolutely a wreck at Children's last summer. Although I can turn a deaf-ish ear to the inane crying for no reason, it's the pained-sounding wails that I truly cannot handle. However, if it's going to keep me from getting another stray elbow or foot to the face while tryingt o wake him up, I guess it will be worth it.

Not a bad night

Guess who:

• Helped make dinner
• Set the table
• Ate everything on his plate without being prompted once

Not bad...

Not-so-smiling eyes

I was asked yesterday about the performance of someone who does some work for me. In all honesty, her performance is satisfactory. She does what is asked of her and without complaint. Now, I have some folks who do what is asked of them but there is an air of passive-aggressiveness about them. This person doesn't do that. There is no attitude involved.

Other people I work with recognize that we are on the same team, I am there to help and guide, and any findings I have are appreciated. I do my best not to put people (at work) on the defensive.

Unfortunately for yesterday's person, and I'll call her Noelle, she works in a very dynamic environment, with a lot of people people that strive to exceed expectations, and they do it effortlessly. Prior to my current condition, I used to work the same way, and even on my worst days, I am still completely unable to not smile and give more than expected. It is just my nature (again, at work). There are some people out there that condemn this condition as perkiness, or Type A behavior, or neurosis, even, but really, in many instances, I think it's part of the job description.

Life can be hard for some people, I guess, but there is still little excuse to not provide service with a smile. Noelle is just one example. While she is doing her job in a capable fashion, there is just something missing, and the psychiatrists on staff suspect that it is affecting their enrollment numbers. She is just not motivating people to come in to the office. Unfortunately for Noelle, the person that they want to replace her with is just one of those people that draw people to them like a magnet, even if it is just someone calling in over the phone for 15 minutes. But there can be a connectedness that some people don't have. Noelle doesn't have it.

I used to also manage another person like Noelle. Marcy. We had taken to posting happy face signs above all of the phones, to remind Marcy to smile while talking. It made a difference. Enrollment picked up. I used this strategy myself to block the view from my old office window. I'd get a bad vibe or often see unhappy faces whenever I looked in a certain direction, so I posted happy faces on that window. It improved my mood. Of course, I posted them on the back of a political sign, which in hindsight probably illicited more negative expressions from the other side. Oh well. I had my happy faces.

I've heard strangers tell my dad that he looks like a completely different person when he smiles. It's true.

I was just watching Kathy Lee Gifford on The Today Show, and I noticed that she does not seem like one of those magnetic personalities. While she is a competent person, her personality repels people. I have at least one aunt like that. She's just not a happy person and it carries on. It seeps in.

Luckily, Harry has smiling eyes, and I hope he keeps them. It will be important throughout his life. Lief is easier when you smile. People are drawn to you.You can even be a deep, intellectual person and still appear smiling and friendly. It's true!

And so, I will leave you with one example of Harry's positive attitude: When I picked him up at school yesterday (or tried to. He still makes me wait about an hour while he finishes playing) his teachers told me he'd been covered in mud pretty much from head to toe that morning (they did change most of his clothes). They asked him what his mommy and daddy would say when they saw him. His response: I'm so happy to see you!
He's right.

Sick Day

Harry was home sick on Friday. It looked like he had sand in his eye, but luckily Kevin took him to the doctor at 6AM to learn he had pick eye and an ear infection. Huh. You see, I woke him up at about 5:30 AM, and he started his day singing pretty much from the start. He had a fabulous day Friday, and the eyelash crust was gone after 1 dose of eyedrops. The earache meds go in his chocolate milk, so no struggle there. You wuld never know this kid id sick. I guess we are lucky.
He even went to gym Saturday and ran all over Old Town making new friends on Sunday, and riding his bike at home. Other than his sick day, TV is now pretty limited. Our house is messier, but he seems to have adjusted.

Prsechool on Wisteria Lane is $10,000/yr.

Hah! Must be nice.

Coffee Talk

Today we met with the school psychiatrist over coffee (all of the parents did). What I learned: we are basically perfect. It's always nice to hear, though, isn't it?
To clarify, by perfect I mean everything is as it should be. I don't want any of you coming into our house screaming "WHAT WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!?!" Harry has tantrums, but they are normal. Harry only eats beige food, but that's okay since he's healthy. Harry really loves his TV, but that's fine since he has a long day of learning and play.
I probably need to bribe just a little less, because he is a smart kids and smart kids manipulate. While some kids will go to gym class for 7 M&Ms, Harry wants a big bag from Blockbuster (next to the gym, but in my defense, they are peanut M&Ms which are high up on the healthy vending foods chain, and he doesn't eat that many anyway). I hope Kevin picked up on not rushing him as much. He doesn't all of the time, but sometimes. And we are all going to use whisper voices with Bailey and my dad, to help tone them down a little...and to have a little fun.
As I may have pointed out previously, Harry is a smart kid. I know all parents think so, but a lot of them are wrong. :-)
I don't say this to brag, it's just a fact. A lot of the intelligence is to his detriment. I think he is a little too introspective and over analyzes a bit much, even at 3. What's neat though is that developmentally he is on track. One thing I had not learned/realized was that your intellect does not necessarily affect your developmental level. I am aware being smart doesn't make you run faster, but it also doesn't effect your ability to pull up your own pants. This I find intriguing. My little lab rat fascinates me.
What he's up to lately: pushing us out the door once he is situated at preschool, eating all of Miss Diane's own personal grapes and then checking the bag for more, swimming in the "deep" end with just one arm on a noodle, trying more foods/taking "nibbles" of such things as celery, carrots and beige pasta.

Boy says "Damn It."

After 6 months of hearing "that's a bad word" over such things as "Shut Up" and "Stupid," last night Harry muttered "damnit" in conversation. Not sure where he got it.
Now, if it was "Fuck" or "Crap" I might understand. I imagine it came from one of his little upper middle class friends, possibly the same one that taught him "Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet..."
Harry's a good boy, and we really don't care. We just told him that that word actually IS a bad word, and he probably shouldn't use it. Actually, I was a little relieved to have an example of an actual profanity, so I can go back to screaming "Shut up you stupid dog! And stop digging!"
Signed, Harrison's Mommy (which is apparently now my official name)

I'm A Driver

While searching for his baseball glove, we found Harry's race car helmets from his birthday party. He's on his third day of wearing it (while at home only, and not at dinner...but at all other times). He had his cape on for a while.

Scary Stuff...or not.

And so, with 5 different Halloween events, Harry ended up going with 2 different costumes for Halloween.

Last Friday, for Boo at the Zoo, Harry went as Spiderman. Surprisingly, he wore hood and gloves for almost the entire time, which, granted, made eating things like apples and ice cream rather difficult. Spiderman looked great, but since it poured the entire time, Harry and Sage wore rain ponchos and both looked like ET dressed as a ghost.

For the Delray parade, Harry donned the spider suit again, but for the most part refused hood and gloves.

I sent Harry to school yesterday in Johns Hopkins scrubs. Two reasons: 1. They looked adorable! 2. Just in case he decided not to be Spidey. Well, also because it was festive and I was afraid he'd grow out of teh costume before getting to wear it...like so many others!

When I got to Abra it was hard to spot Harry, what with all of the other Spidermen (and various other super heroes) and princess wings. An original bunch they're not. No hood or goves, and by the time we were back in the driveway, the suit was off.

On a side note, I had taken carrots and peanut butter to the event. The A-L's got to bring candy. Peanut butter was teh best shot at dip I could find at MOM's. I learned today that PB and carrots are Bill Clinton's favorite snack. Who would have guessed???

And so, while we waited for Aisha to arrive in her Spiderman costume, I noticed Nicholas was also in scrubs! Harry's idol, in the same costume! That may have helped with the fear factor. When Harry broke his leg, he became unenthusiastic about doctors. Luckily, the only issue with the scrubs was when Kevin told him he could be a baby doctor. "I'm NOT a baby!" Dude, relax. He meant pediatrician. That seemed okay.

And so, Harry and Aisha proceeded to the neighborhood parade. They entertained themselves playing with acorns while they waited. This was huge, because last year Aisha feared nothing more than acorns. They terrified her. Of course, while she played happily, one fell from a tree and nearly knocked me unconscious.

After some trick or treating, which Harry fully embraced this year, we headed home to have a little party and hand out candy. More fun for the tots. They were fully in charge of the hand outs, so much so that when Harry was in the tub later and we heard a knock on the door, he responded that he was done. "I just can't do anymore." Tough day at the office!

And so, about 10 minutes later, he was sound asleep, as the Great Pumpkin swept in and gathered our un-given candy, leaving a card "Will you read it to me?" and a treat full of non-candy items. And who says you need Santa to have fun?!

Speaking of Santa and all of those potential Shrimp Festers who are convinced we won't have a tree, I bought one today. It is lovely, and exactly what I've been looking for!